Dreams

I am in a relationship with a great guy now. Someone I fell in love with, kind of unexpectantly because I guard my emotions when I am in a relationship. Well, I blame him...he showed me love when I was not getting anything from anywhere else. I needed someone to lean on, he was there, even though I had never asked it of him. It's been about a month since we started "officially" going out...I say that because it seems like longer, and yet, in a way it has been. We met in August, and have been close pretty much from the first time we hung out. Ok, now to get to the point of the title. A couple nights ago I had a dream about us getting married (now only if the constitution would catch up with my dreams)...it was a wonderful dream...and no, neither one of us wore a dress...needless to say I will not make a mockery of my love like some homos do when they go through their ceremonies. We were both in tux's...he had a red rose pinned to his shirt, and i had a white one...dont ask the significance of the colors, thats just how it was. Of course I woke up while the ceremony was going on so I do not know what else entailed afterward...I could guess though. OK then last night, I had a dream about beating the living shit out of my exe. Now normally, in dreams, something stops my fists from ever making contact with a person. I do not know what, thats just how it has always been...but in this one I made his face a bloody mess. I have only ever felt that way about one person, my other exe before that guy. What is it with my feelings of hatred towards people I had loved? Hmm I wonder if there is something to it. I know my man would say there is....he hates my exe. But yeah I think it is weird that in a dream I was not stopped from hitting him. I guess aggression for past hurt has to get out somehow...right? What does this say about whats going on in my life and my emotionalness?

Coincidence

Growing up I was obsessed with defining myself and my family...probably due in part to my being a homo and not knowing what it was or why I was. Anyway

I have always associated my family with wolves. Not because we are evil, but because we have a hierarchy...alfas and everything. Anyway, I have also always loved the two nature "elements" for lack of a better word of lightning(plasma now that I am older and know more) and earth. Having now "grown up" I know all my zodiacs are earth based...my moon sign, sun sign, and chinese zodiac...ok so I do not know my mars sign...but i dont think that is all that important. Also my gem is green like plants, which grow from the earth. Hmmm...anyway my high school was lightning, my current college is wolves, and the college I will be going to is a badger, which is an earth based animal. Now the guy I want to go out with is big into wolves. And he grew up on a farm planting and digging...hmmmm anyway thats just some things I have to go do some math...BOOO!!!